Non-Sequiturs: 08.07.15

* Chris Christie argued passionately about national security with Rand Paul, noting that he was appointed a U.S. Attorney the very day before 9/11. Except, you know, he wasn't and is completely lying. [Empty Wheel] * The Simpson Thacher and Mayer Brown epic screw-ups: where are the individual lawyers now? [The Am Law Daily] * Choose the right firm for you... with the help of these Legos. [The Careerist / The American Lawyer] * A bipartisan bill hopes to replace loan default rates with a repayment metric. [Insider Higher Ed] * The most predictable prison escape ever. [Lowering the Bar] * John McAfee's new security update includes a handgun -- which he was arrested for carrying while high on Xanax after a "shootout" with police. He explains the whole thing on Facebook. [Gawker] * Liberty Law has a new dean. [News & Advance] * Pretty sure Key & Peele read the Elonis decision. [Key & Peele / Comedy Central] [iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:comedycentral.com:31920221-2ca8-4b07-835a-513ba2cffee4" width="640" height="360”]